The Decaying Destiny of Bobby the Zombie: A Horror Comedy form the Zombie Point of View

My name is Bobby Lunger. Well it used to be when I was a living person. Now I'm a card-carrying member of the Undead. Can you imagine what it would be like if you became a zombie? I know it's one of those burning questions that everyone secretly thinks about. In my case, I'm trapped in this old husk of a body, doing the bidding of the hunger, like an unwilling host to the horrors I must inflict on humanity to survive. Being one of the undead comes with pain. The pain of my decaying body and the hunger doesn't make the pain less bearable. I want to return to the peace of the grave so I can free myself from this terrible undead life but the hunger won't allow it. There's only one solution to my pain-riddled existence: Brains! It quiets the hunger and restores my body to a more agile and stronger zombie. The more I eat, the better I get. I have no control over the hunger when it decides to make me feed. What a way to unlive?